ALRIGHT so it’s been a whiiile…I just really haven’t felt compelled to write on here lately. But RELAX, because here I am nerding it out at 11:00pm on a non-school night, coming up with a craft for Head Start/watching She’s the Man/writing on here.
…I know, I KNOW. You wish you were me.
This craft-coming-up-with endeavor is sort of an uphill climb, though, because like. Unless there’s some major holiday on the horizon, crafts really don’t just make themselves YOU KNOW? You know. So right now I’m stuck between making a paper kite, and a pipecleaner leprechaun, which is clearly a tough decision because like….how DO you choose between two equally genius ideas?? I am at a loss.
In other news, the musical is OVER, and has been for like a week or whatever. And even though it went very well and I enjoyed it, I have just been in such a better MOOD since it’s ended. Seriously all this past week I just felt relieved and chill and at ease, so the play was clearly stressing me out more than I realized.
OH MY GOD ok, buckle up because I have the SADDEST STORY OF ALL TIME to share with you. Hopefully I can finish writing it before I just like, lose complete control and shlump on my keyboard and bawl, because it’s just that bad.
Ahem, so. My family is not really like, a technologically advanced group, and we don’t have cable. (I know…I could just stop here, and it would be a sad story). Well we also don’t have Netflix, but we DO have Blockbuster Online, but like who cares, the POINT IS that I make frequent trips to the good old Blockbuster up the street on Ridge Pk. Like, EXTREMELY frequent trips. And I have sort of come to think of that place as a home away from home, and I have bonded with all the employees there and they adore me. Particularly this one employee who is completely bald, but not like old man bald, just bald, and he is MY FAVORITE BLOCKBUSTER GUY OF ALL TIME. And we have a deep and indestructible connection based upon our totally compatible movie tastes, and all of our random, priceless conversations. And he is just the best. And when I was DYING to rent Charlie Bartlett, but they didn’t have it, he helped me find another movie, and then he HELD Charlie Bartlett for me as soon as it came in even though I didn’t ask him to. And when the battery died in my dad’s car because I spent so long looking for a movie, and I had a nervous breakdown because I was pretty certain that my dad would destroy me for killing his car’s battery, Baldie came outside—-completely neglecting his behind the counter duties!!—-and helped me locate the jumper cables in the trunk and jump start the car! And every time I forget my Blockbuster card and/or photo ID, he always lets me slide. And he is just the MAN, and he has this lovable round face, and I feel like we’re married, practically.
So TONIGHT, since it isn’t a school night, I headed up to Blockbuster OBVIOUSLY to rent a movie. But when I got there, the door was locked, and I realized that on Mondays they close at 10 so I was fifteen minutes late or whatever. So I had a good cry, and then started to head back to the car, but of COURSE Baldie (I don’t know why I don’t know his name…it’s fucking disgraceful) popped his head out of the door at the last minute and said hello to me, because no locked door is going to get in the way of a friendship like ours. So I chatted with him, and expressed my distress at the fact that they were closed, and complained about how I was going to have to chill around and watch She’s the Man instead. (Which is really nothing to complain about, because I love this movie so much) Well, when I said that, Baldie replied, “hmmm, you’re going to have to get used to this feeling, because we filed for bankruptcy and are closing before too long. Netflix and shit really did us in.”
Well, my friends. I basically felt like someone had STABBED ME IN THE HEART MULTIPLE TIMES WITH A RAZOR SHARP BLADE. Oh my GOD! What the fuck am I supposed to DO??? My life and entertainment depend like 90% on the existence of that Blockbuster store, and plus how the HELL am I supposed to figure out Baldie’s actual name, let alone marry him so that he can take care of me for all of my days, if they just shut down and I never see him again?!?!?!
:SOB:
worst. news. ever.
Anyway I should probably go, even though I feel like I had some actual legit news to share with you, especially since it’s been so long. But I just got so caught up in that story!! And now I am a total emotional basketcase from telling it, because I’ve realized what an empty black hole my life is going to become thanks to Netflix. And also I need to devote my full attention to She’s the Man right now, because Duke just like came out of the bushes in his tux and I love this part. Siiiiggghh. But I’ll try to write again before like, October or whatever, so don’t fret about that.
P.S. If you are some kind of stalker fact-checker, and you happen to go to the Blockbuster on Ridge, there are two bald guys, and mine is the one who is not the skinny one with glasses.
P.P.S. I am considering chaining myself to the store? Leave your contact info if you’re in.
I decided to paint my nails black, since tomorrow is black-out day for spirit week and since I just found a bottle of black nail polish. I got all stoked about this because (a) I was being spirited and (b) Black nail polish is supposedly “edgy”, and I was excited to briefly dip my toe in the unfamiliar waters of edgy-ness. “I am being daring! I am being bold!” I thought, “I never even paint my nails, and here I am not only painting them, but painting them such an edgy and spirited color!!” So I painted them, and they looked awesome.
Until I realized that the nail polish was actually navy blue.
Oh my LORD I cannot believe that this is only Monday of a regular 5-day week. How dare they give us a full week of school? You’d think it was the beginning of the year or something.
So I am in like, a major in-between phase right now, and it’s super annoying. There’s just nothing going ON. There’s stuff on the horizon, but I feel like I’m on this boring old treadmill and I’ll never GET to it. One thing that is going on, unfortunately, is that I have to wear my Breast Cancer Awareness tshirt to school tomorrow, and I just put it on right now to like, preview it. And it’s BAD, let me tell you. So that’s already setting me up to be in a bad mood tomorrow. But I’ll try to overcome it.
OHmagod, I read an awesome book this weekend. I made the controversial decision of taking several books out of the library on the last day before the fourday weekend instead buckling down to read Hamlet the whole time. And even though I took the stupid check-test today and it was horrific, I do not regret reading the other books, cause the one was SO GOOD! I’m always hesitant to talk about the books I read (other than Hamlet and Angela’s Ashes) on here, because all my buckets of readers clearly are very selective and probably have very distinguished taste as far as reading goes (or else why else would they be reading this incredibly intellectual blog?) and I don’t want them looking down on me for reading dumb books. But I thoroughly enjoyed this one so I’ll tell you anyway. Ahem, it was called “So Yesterday” by Scott Westerfield. And YES the name is dumb, but if you are looking for a quick and very entertaining read, then pick it UP. And shut up, I can see you looking down at me through your dumb, smart, horn-rimmed glasses, totally outraged that I’m not reading Dostoevsky or Tolstoy or whoever. But cut me a break, I’m not trying to impress anyone.
Oh ok, so I have a story.
Last night I went to work, and then following work I briefly met up with my dear buddies at Max&Erma’s for the end of a gathering in honor of one of my dear buddies’ birthdays. (All of this is irrelevant and unimportant to the story, but I wanted to provide you with some background info). So after all of that, I was on my way home, and the gas light was on which really freaks me out, so I decided to get some gas. SO! I went to Wawa and got gas. As the car was filling up, I thought to myself (feeling very productive) “well! while I’m waiting, I might as well clean out some of the trash from the car.” I gathered up the empty bags and wrappers from the car, and threw them in the trashcan, and along with them I THREW OUT MY CAR KEYS! Oh my god it was so embarassing. I don’t even know what happened, the key-ring was around my finger and when I chucked the trash it just went sailing. I gasped in horror as I heard the jingle of the keys tumbling to the bottom of the very large trashcan. “Oh my god,” I said aloud to the man at the pump next to me, “I just threw out my car keys!” I laughed hysterically, hoping he would join me in my mortified effort to not look like an idiot. Instead he totally countered that effort by giving me the “allllllrighty then” eyebrow raise. Whatever buddy. Your day will come. Anyway, I realized that I had to somehow recover the keys, and I tried to take the lid off the trashcan. But it was one of those ones that don’t really have a lid, and instead just have like a slot on each side, so I ended up just like breaking the top off of the trashcan. Yes I kind of feel bad. But it was a desperate time. So once the lid was broken off, I had to like dive head first into the debris to search for the keys, and finally found them neatly shiskebabbing a half-eaten McDonald’s snack wrap. GROSS! I had to disinfect them by sloshing some anti-freeze on them that I found in the back of the car. Which, come to think of it, probably has zero disinfecting properties. Oh well.
So that’s the latest tale of me making a FOOL of myself.
In other news, remember when I told you I was IN LOVE?! Well, it turns out that it was a false alarm. I know I know. It seemed legit, but alas. Did not last, which is really too bad, since that kind of thing usuall livens things up. Especially when one is in an in-between phase in their life, as I am.
Ugh well anyway, I’m going to go try to scrounge up some materials to make a less-hideous breast cancer tshirt. It will probably be a fruitless search, but it’s worth a try since this one grows uglier by the MINUTE.
I’ll report back sometime soon.
About three or four days ago, Barb baked a cake. This was a magnificent white cake, with pink raspberry frosting, and decorated with raspberries all over. We ate some of this cake for dessert on the day she made it, and have had it for dessert a couple times since then. The cake was being stored on the countertop in a tin cake dish, with a cover.
WELL.
Last night we got back late (11:00–that’s way beyond the witching hour for these folks), and everybody went to bed except Ron, because he insisted that he needed a little midnight snack before bed, and would have a piece of cake.
The next day after lunch, Barb decided to have a piece of cake for dessert, and she went into the kitchen and uncovered the cake, only to find that IT WAS COVERED IN DISGUSTING FUZZY GRAY MOLD!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. There was like an inch of hair on that baby.
“Sakes alive!” She exclaimed.
“GROSS!!!!!” I shouted, appropriately dismayed at the NASTY MONSTROSITY that had replaced our beautiful cake.
“Hmm, maybe I’ll pass on the cake,” said Barb. I patted her on the back comfortingly.
“Ron…?” said Kathy, “Ron, did you actually eat a piece of cake last night? Or did you realize that there was something terribly wrong when you lifted the cover and saw all of that nasty blue fuzz, and decide against it?”
Ron patted his stomach and shrugged.
”Tasted fine to me!”
Seriously, these are the people I’ve been living with.
