word(s)

Alright I’ll try to keep this pretty normal, since I have been subjecting you to a cruel amount of cryptic/deathly boring entries lately. Honestly, to everyone who read my last couple of entries and proceeded to jump off a bridge…I sincerely apologize.

Hmmmmmmmmm, so!  Latest events…

I got the part I wanted in the musical, which is a relief kind of.  It’s double-casted which at first like totally horrified me, and it still sort of sucks a lot, but I’ve tried to get used to it.  We’ll see how it is when practice gets rolling.  Something new to complain about, right?!  Thank God.  And also, with another play starting, you know what that means…….SPIRIT!  Hooray.  Just when I thought life was getting a little too tolerable.

I’ve actually been feeling pretty badly about complaining so much about things.  Because I really do complain a lot, as you have undoubtedly observed.  But recently, I guess with the coming of Thanksgiving and everything, I’ve been feeling sort of rotten about being so selfish and negative, and I’ve been realizing that I’m actually pretty lucky, all-in-all.  And yes, these are definitely thoughts that are pretty uncharacteristic of my general ways of thinking, but I heard the other day that this family I used to know from homeschooling just lost their house.  Seriously! LOST IT.  It burned down and now they have nowhere to live.  So they’re like, kind of nomadically slumming it until they figure out what to do, since their resources are limited.  And these are homeschoolers so obviously their family is like, gigantic by human standards. 

And, what????? What was that, Juliana????? You are complaining because you have to split your part in the play with someone else, and because your family is annoying and all of this other inconsequential shit?????  Are you seriously that superficial and selfish?????

I appall myself, seriously.

Anyway, changing the subject, last night while I was digging through the bookshelf in the girls’ room looking for thanksgivingish books to bring to Head Start, I stumbled across my old journal from when I was 9.  LET ME TELL YOU, if you are ever looking for a truly enthralling read, dig up some stuff you wrote as a wide-eyed, impressionable youth.  It’s pretty wild.  It was actually a little sad to read at some parts, especially the entries where I was sad about being homeschooled and having no friends.  I felt such a crushing and heart breaking empathy for my poor nine year-old self.  But there were funny parts too, and OBVIOUSLY I had the grammar and vocabulary of a middle-aged college professor, which made it a smooth and scintillating read.  It’s a little bizarre visiting with your younger self, but I kind of enjoyed it and it was interesting to see where I’ve been.

Anyway, in other TERRIBLE news, guys, I’m afraid that I’ve turned to the dark side.  I know, I know!  I’m sorry.  I kept telling myself I wouldn’t do it, kept saying it was totally dumb and trendy, kept warding off all thoughts of even going where anywhere NEAR it.  I planned to sever ties with all my weak, fanatical friends.  I planned to perhaps even start some sort of counter-movement in an effort to quell the surging masses of fans.  BUT I GAVE IN!!!!!!  And I know you are so disappointed in me, but I had to see what all the fuss was about….

I read Twilight.

Aaaah I’m embarassed.  But I did, and I had to come out about it to someone…who better than the worldwide web? 

It’s so good though. For the record.

But anyway, I’ve put off studying for math for like way entirely too long.  And I have to reteach myself the whole chapter since I am never mentally present in that class.  I should definitely get on that. 

Nice talking though.