summer kind of wonderful

Ohh boy, so here we go with the summer thing.  Great.  I mean, there is a lot that I love about summer, for sure, but the Jule Wandering Around Aimlessly in Search of a Greater Life Purpose thing is like, a part of summer that I could really do without.  It’s also a part of summer that has been like, HAPPENING in the extremes this week.  But oh well, I guess.  Summer is summer is summer.

I graduated from high school.  It was all kind of a big mix of excitement and joy and achievement, and pure and utter tragedy.  I couldn’t really wrap my head around it.  But it happened, you know, in spite of my efforts to stave it off (1, 2, 3….no one is going to get this reference) and now life keeps just rolling on regardless of whether I’m ready or not.  In a way it’s comforting to know that, no matter what I do, even if I just curl up in a ball and knock myself unconscious and take no action at all, life is still going to come at me with the same undeterred aggression.  In other ways, it’s terrifying to know that.  But in every way, that’s just how the baaaalll bounces.

So, some recent events of interest.

My first day of summer was sublime.  It started out lame, then got a little better, then got SO TERRIBLE and then ended SO AMAZINGLY that like, I can’t even believe it happened.  It was a great way to begin things, and whenever I think about that night I feel such a pleasant glow.

The ensuing days of summer have been enjoyable, but not extraordinary so far.

The Coppa Family Bowling League has been formed and activated (activated like…isn’t the word that I mean.  But I can’t think of a better one. SIGH.) with much enthusiasm.  Today was DAY 3 of the CFBL Summer Spectacular and shit has been nuts.  So far, surprisingly, the MVPs have been Lisetta and Olivia, due to their bizarre and frustrating technique of getting an extremely heavy ball, placing it in the center of the lane, and pushing it JUST ENOUGH that it gets rolling.  Today we timed Olivia’s ball and it took exactly 1 minute and 3 seconds to make it to the bowling pins.  But when it got there, somehow, it wreaked major havoc and she ended getting up like a spare anyway.  And MEANWHILE, there’s JULE who LOVES BOWLING and who is the sponsor and creator and chauffer of the bowling league, and I SUCK SO BADLY.  Seriously, I am like.  The worst bowler of all time. THE. WORST.  I’m not even exaggerating or being overly modest or something.  Sometimes I do that, where I’m like “oh no seriouslyyy I am like NO good at building sandcastles”, when meanwhile my sand-architecture has won like numerous awards at beaches across the east coast (a totally fictional example). But I am literally just terrible at bowling.  And it’s really upsetting because I am the number one FAN of these bowling trips and I ENJOY it so much but I can’t even make it past fifty points and meanwhile Lisetta and Olivia are in like the triple-digits somehow.

SIGHHHH I’m just really having a hard time with this.  I am totally the LVP of the league, and I’m the butt of everyone’s jokes, but I keep going anyway because I have hope deep down that my technique will improve and I won’t be as horrifically bad someday.  So far though, the league has been pretty ashamed of me.

In other depressing news, I went to Barnes & Noble the other day to stock up on some books (even though I have NO money) because I just have so much READING time nowadays and I’m so sick of all this rereading I’ve been doing.  So I went and I was really stoked because one of my favorite authors, Sarah Dessen (go ahead. look her up. make fun of me. I don’t even care anymore) has a NEW BOOK out and I haaad to get it, so I got that and something else and I came home.  And I was totally planning on saving the book and reading it little by little so that I could stretch it out for as long as possible since my reading supply is dwindling as it is, and plus who even KNOWS when she’ll come out with a new book again, so I really had to make this one last.  But somehow, and I swear to you I don’t even KNOW how it happened, but I started the book on Tuesday when I bought it and I ended up staying up till like 3am and I READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK IN ONE NIGHT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I have no self control, it’s pathetic.  I can’t even believe I let it happen.  So I woke up the next morning like, wallowing in a pool of self-loathing for my total lack of restraint, and even though I’ve been trying to hold off I’m already halfway through the OTHER book I got, and so now I’m going to have to make weekly trips to the library for like the whole summer.

AHHHHHHH.

Well yeah.  So are you enjoying all these totally badass and exciting stories about my life?  I know I am.  While the rest of the world is off getting crrrrunked on senior week and hooking up with every single person they know and waking up in the morning in the outdoor shower of their beach house having NO clue what happened the night before, here I am in good old Trooper, PA, waking up safely in my bed every morning after having cried myself to sleep for finishing a BOOK in one night instead of trying to savor it.  And then heading off for an exciting day of bowling with my six younger siblings in my twelve passenger van.

You can say it.  I’m the biggest fucking party animal you know.

Oh, so speaking of that, check this out: my family is leaving for the beach tomorrow night, and except for like the two days that I’m going to visit them down there, I am staying home with my sister because we both have work.  So that means that I’m going to be like alone in my terrifying house for a huge long week.  IT’S GOING TO BE SO WEIRD. I’m so used to having everyone here.  And I don’t really know what I’m going to do with myself other than like, sleep with a baseball bat every night, go to work, and feed Maria’s new goldfish, but it seems like, with such a huge amount of house and aloneness, I should find something exciting to do.  (Normally I would be concerned about publishing my home-alone-ness to the worldwide web but like.  If the little “views per day” counter on my homepage is any indicator…I’ve got nothing to worry about.  :a tumble weed blows lazily across Juliana’s blog page:  ::crickets chirp in the distance::)

OH my lord, want to hear something WILD?  This time last year I was in COLORADO, writing all of those suicidal and bored photo-entries on here and whining about how much time I spent with old people, and talking about the girls I met in the goldmine who thought I was Jordin Sparks, and talking about how I spotted a black bear even though I didn’t really and I had just zoomed in really close on a postcard in the gift shop.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WAS A YEAR AGO?  I definitely can’t.  Time really does go fast, it blows my mind.

Any.way.  I am sort of dying to continue this book I’m reading, and also this entry is soo extremely long and lame that like.  I just need to put it out of its misery. But it’s been nice catching up as I’m sure you agree, and don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted as to how my bowling technique improves etc.

OK.  So goodnight.

she’s just waiting for the summertime, when the weather’s fine

HMMMM I don’t even know where to start because it’s been quite a while.  I suppose it’s time for…

RECENT EVENTS! [in whatever order I remember them] and FUTURE EVENTS [if I am excited enough about them]
a brief list by j.coppa

• PROM
  Prom happened.  It was actually fun (contrary to expectations!) and I ended up thoroughly enjoying myself.  I was like DREADING it big time for whatever reason, but it was seriously great and I was pleased.
• THE OPEN MIC NIGHT
  I don’t remember any specifics about this really, except that it was really FUN and that I was forced to exhibit my lame karaoke skillz (thanks, everyone). And also I can totally see the appeal of joining that cultish FVCN youth group because their setup is SWEET.  And also, during the course of this event, I realized something unfortunate but extremely extremely true.
• THE CHORUS CONCERT
  Lawlz.  Where I fulfilled my dreams of being a black baptist minister in a gospel choir, and also where I had to awkwardly slam some poetry.  Wonderful and terrible.
• THE MYSTERIOUS PARTY AT JOON-HO LEE’S
  Wild. times.  Where we learned that trail mix, unsuspecting Jule & Miriah, and tickle fights can be a lethal combination.  Also where we learned that the makeshift burkha is not really my best look.
• THE EVANSBURG TRIP
  OK what the heck, I went on this trip last year and it was a leisurely day of frisbee and guitar playing and barbecuing. Thoroughly enjoyable.  THIS YEAR we were sent on like, a legit orienteering course and I ended up bushwhacking through the wilderness for three hours, scaling cliffs and getting all tangled up in the underbrush and like, great.  It was so nuts.  It was actually pretty hilarious but I was sort of stunned that our gym teachers thought that after just skipping around with a map of our OWN SCHOOL, the campus of which we are COMPLETELY FAMILIAR with, that somehow we would be prepared to just be unleashed in the wilderness with nothing but a compass (LOL like anyone was paying attention for how to use that) and a map.  But apparently it wasn’t that outrageous because a bunch of teams had actually no trouble, so I guess maps just aren’t my thing. What. Ever. Anyway this bullet is entirely too long.
• THE SEASON FINALE OF ANTM
  Not going to lie, I was hoping that Allison was going to win.  But unfortunately T.Banks has not gone crazy enough for something like that to happen.
• THE SEASON FINALE OF GOSSIP GIRL
  Oh my goddddd, FINALLY something goes right in the world. 
• WALLEYBALL!
  This time I got to go to the theatre co. walleyball game at kinetix and it was such fun!
• MEMORIAL DAY PARTY
  This party is good every year, but this year especially turned out to be fantastic.  Except for like the most ridiculous game of kickball of all time followed by the most ridiculous game of frisbee of all time.  But Pepe Lopez helped us to cool down from those high tension games, and in the end it was all a success.
• SIENA’S 21st BIRTHDAY
  is tomorrow, and I am going on an ADVENTURE up to South Orange, NJ to help her celebrate!!  It’s going to be great.  Except that I made a superb mix CD for the journey and my traveling companion E.Brown’s radio doesn’t fucking work.  So now this poor CD is feeling like, majorly lost and rejected.  But anyway.  I’m excited.
• GYM CLASS TOMORROW
  This is not even a notable event except that like, great, I just remembered I’m supposed to bring Iced Tea for our campout and I don’t even have any.
• GRADUATION
  AHHHH oh my god, I have gone from feeling like, STOKED, to reluctant, to just like 100% SAD that this is about to occur!!!  I mean, despite probably 234563524 complaints that I have registered about it, I just love high school, I do.  And there are two weeks left of it.  And now all the yearbook signing and reminiscing and speculating about the future has begun, and it makes me want to burst into tears.  Not to mention that like, Ms. Ladson was talking about paying bills and credit cards last class, and it seriously made me feel ILL because like.  GREAT.  I am so not ready to be a functioning adult it makes me want to die. 
• SENIOR SHOW
  Shoot. me.
• SUMMER
  LOL regardless of my mixed feelings about graduation, I honestly can’t believe that we are still going to school and like getting grades for things haha.  I am 100% summerfied.

Anyway this list could go on lamely forever but I don’t feel like it.  I’m surprised I even scrounged up any energy to write on here at all.  I have just not been feeling the old blog lately.  My favorite thing to do on here is COMPLAIN and I just have had like, not much to whine about lately. 

later.

suddenly I see

AHOY!

It’s been too long, it really has.  I hope all of you have held up okay.  I guess I’ll update you a little on life.

SENIOR TRIP! was really fun actually, moreso than I was expecting.  And like, unlike with many other highly advertised things, Disney World is just as magical and impressive as it is made out to be in all of the rampant Disney propaganda.  I was so ENCHANTED the whole time I was there, seriously, I just felt like I was in this magical other world.  And everyone kept making fun of me because like, blahblahblah they vacationed in Disney World since they were zero years old while I was holed up in like a one-room shorehouse with the fam, but WHATEVER GUYS, I still enjoyed it so much.  The only drawbacks to the trip were that I didn’t really get tan (what. the fuck. people were like freaking out the whole time about how one hour in FL sunlight equals six hours in PA or some shit, but my pasty white complexion BEGS TO DIFFER.  I didn’t even wear a drop of sunscreen.) and also the ice in Disney World is like gross and weirdly shaped.  Instead of delicious, clear square chips, it was like weird cloudy cylindrical rods.  Really bizarre, I did not approve.  Other than that though, overall a wonderful trip.

omg SCHOOL. I’ve just totally stopped doing it.  Nothing to report.

I have a new FRECKLE which is momentous, and which brings my grand freckle quota up to 13.

I had some people over my house last night, which I haven’t done for a while.  It was an odd mix and I thought it might suck, but it ended up being really fun (for me….everyone else, idk.) and I was quite pleased with how like, not-that-odd the mix ended up being. 

OH MY GOD so I have come to a majorly stunning realization.  And I want to just blurt it out, but it involves me realizing something that I didn’t think was even possible, and now that I have officially REALIZED it I am like depressed because I should have realized it sooner, I think.  So frustrating!

Ugghh I am dyyyyying for a book to read.  Now that I have 100% abandoned school work, I have all this free reading time and I NEED something good to read.  I went to the school library like forty times this week because I kept forgetting about the art show, and all the shelves were trapped behind the styrofoam and I couldn’t even get to any books.  It got to the point where, last night after work, I had to reread the first Princess Diaries book.  Which is pathetic because I have read that like eleven times, and I’ve been trying to move onward and upward from my lame pink girly books.  Not to say that The Princess Diaries are lame, because they’re really not, they’re tremendous.  I just feel that I am moving beyond them at this point in my life.  BUT!!!!!!! While I was reading it, I REALIZED that Mia Thermopolis is the source of my CAPITAL LETTERS HABIT!!!!!!!  She does it all the time.  And I’ve been reading those books for so long that I guess I’ve adopted her exuberant captial style.  Very interesting.  In fact, Mia Thermopolis has really just had a gigantic influence on my life in general.  I really identify with her better than with anyone else I know, and other than the fact that she is a socially-impaired, vegan, only-child PRINCESS, we are practically the same person.  But anyway as much as I love her, it is high fucking time that I got some new books.  But I’m not hating on the art show at all for blocking them from me, because the art show was MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!  I am so proud of my friends and quasi-friends and people I hardly know and EVERYONE who had stuff in it, because it was just so wonderful and beautiful and impressive that I couldn’t even handle it.

Oh gosh so they’ve finally started cranking out Sweeney Todd dvds, and I watched it this weekend and like…AHHH.  I was so disappointed.  It’s really staggering how different the recording is from the actual thing.  At least I HOPE it’s different, because if it’s not then like….we all sucked pretty hard.  Jk you can still tell that it was good, it’s just like, very distant when you watch the recording. 

Aaaaanyway.  In other news, I LIKE someone.  Totally new and unexpected!!! Well…I think it’s unexpected.  It’s not even a big deal and nothing will probably come of it, but it is iiiinteresting. 

 

So I have been doing a lot of reminiscing lately.  Probably because it’s like, that time in life where you realize just how bloody fast time really goes, where one minute you’re terrified to climb onto the school bus for the first time, and the next minute you’re trying to stamp everything about high school permanently into your memory before it all dissolves away in a flurry of flying grad caps and confetti.  And like, in my reminiscing I am just noticing how INTENSE life is, and so full of people and events and experiences that like, it makes me want to cry.  Because I know I can never remember all of these things, or hold on to all these people, and one day in like seventy years I am going to be chilling on my back patio smoking dogies with my old-but-still-pretty-handsome husband, and I’m not even going to REMEMBER my full and wonderful and fun life as a high schooler!  I’m going to be so distracted by my creaky joints and lack of retirement money that like, all these exhilirating and and beautiful memories won’t even fit in my head anymore.  It’s just an awful thought.  But at least now I am REALIZING how good my life is I guess, so it won’t go entirely unappreciated.

SIGHHH.

Well anyway I have work in like 20 minutes, so I gotta go get into my Panera Garb and braid my hair.  But it was nice checking in!  Enjoy your rainy Sunday.

<3

won’t be 17 forever

SO, this good mood has majorly surpassed its life expectancy, it’s pretty bizarre.  I mean generally speaking my life always sucks kind of, but usually this general suckage is compounded with INWARD turmoil and anxiety as well.  But recently, inwardly, I have been feeling all mellow and happy it’s just bizarre.  But nice, too, I suppose.

This weekend was laaaaame for the most part because I worked a lot, but Friday was fun.  The film festival was like, enjoyable as always, and afterwards Miriah threw a like not-gigantic-but-still-extremely-fun surprise party in honor of my birrruthday.  It was really nice.

Oh lord so Panera continues to be like MY FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH (with the exception, of course, of the dentist office, Spanish class, and the way back corner seat of The Van where everyone gets carsick and pukes).  Seriously, I just have been loving that place.  Work this weekend was particularly FANTASTIC because our store is still programmed for wintertime, so the heat has been on FULL BLAST and the entire bakery-cafe is a sweltering, muggy sauna!!!  But does that deter people from coming?  No!  Apparently ordering vats of broccoli cheddar soup in an 80 degree store is their life’s dream come true!  And in case it isn’t enough that I am being forced to work in like the seventh level of HELL, we just got a truckload of totally new and incompetent employees.  And the newest one, Rob (I don’t even care that I’m saying his name, I hope he reads this somehow and realizes how much I hate him) told me today that I was a BITCH (thereby not only becoming the newest employee at Panera, but also the newest name on Juliana Coppa’s “People I Barely Know But Still Loathe With All My Being” list).  I mean, how dare he?  All I did was like tell this kid that I didn’t care about all this weird science fiction trivia he was spouting out at me, which like isn’t even MEAN.  Does he even realize what a good fucking mood I’ve been in?  My bitch switch wasn’t even FLIPPED tonight, Robert.  You have no idea.  Noooooooooo idea.

Ahem anyway.  I think that recently I have talked about Panera too much on here.  It’s probably getting tiresome.  The good news, though, is that once I turn 18 (two days my friends! two. days.)  I might be moving onward and upward from my employment from Panera, meaning that I am going to QUIT and shake the dust from my heels and head off in search of a higher-paying job.  Well…. I should actually probably locate this mythical higher-paying job BEFORE I quit, otherwise I may just be up shit creek with no paddle.  But at any rate I am exploring my options, and at the top of my possible Option List is BLOCKBUSTER!  How sweet would that be to spend some q-time with my favorite movie store during it’s final days as a functioning business???  That’s only like, my DREAM JOB.  I wonder if they are hiring.  I wonder, too, if I need to pass some kind of a “How Obsessed Are You With Movies?” test to become employed there.  Because the blockbuster guys know their shit.  I mean I have my own wealth of movie trivia (although it is nowhere NEAR my gargantuan wealth of ARTHUR trivia but whatever) but I feel that I don’t know enough to qualify me for like Official Movie Nerd status.  So mayhaps I should read up before they throw some kind of sudden death movie quiz at me.

Although I feel like that is a totally random and unlikely requirement for employment, and my speculations are probably completely unfounded.

So I’m headed to disney world this week for the senior trip.  I’ve never been there before.  I’m not like majorly excited, mostly because I haven’t really been thinking about it.  But I feel that perhaps I should START thinking about it, especially because I need to like purchase some flip flops because upon review of the shoe basket in my room, my stash of like 80 flip flops has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle. (NO PUN INTENDED!)  And also I need to like triple-wash all of my clothing because they’re having drug dogs sniff our bags and like….we all know with the pungent aroma of illegal fumes that constantly clings to me, I could be in some big trubz.  But anyway with the birthday, and then the approach of this potentially extremely fun trip, this week is not looking too terrible.  I’m a little stoked for it actually. 

Oh my god so London got kicked off of ANTM.  A little piece of me has died and will never be restored. Tyra doesn’t know what she’s talking about, girl.  Stay strong.

LOL so I recently heard some HILARIOUS NEWS.  I am still trying to wrap my head around it it’s just riidonnkulous.  Seriously, if I told you, you wouldn’t even believe me.  It’s just the randomest thing.  I also recently heard some not random OR hilarious news, which was also pretty ridiculous, but in a different way.  But who even cares about that news anyway.

Oh hey so I’m currently part of this brand new and exciting initiative called JULE IS NEVER EATING AGAIN.  Seriously oh my GOD.  If I could like choose a song to describe my life right now, it would be freaking “I Am the Walrus”.  Le.git.  (The standard song that describes my life is “Rondo a la Turque” by Mozart, and also fairly often ”I Hate Everyone” by Get Set Go)  I went running like 14 times this weekend (not really. but a few) and like, it is time for me to snap out of my lazybear winter hibernation.  I mean, Ruby (my stomach) and I have always been on great terms and I love her to death.  But she is just getting out of control.

Siiiighhhhh the things I talk about on here.  And I wonder why this poor blog is taking such a rapid decline.

Anyway I have this like extraordinarily hefty gov packet to work on, so I should get to that before I like pass out from the tiredness-toll that this harrowing day has taken on me.  Perhaps I’ll write again before this grand adventure to Florida, but probably not.  So arrividerci I hope you don’t die of depressive withdrawal.

PEACE.

P.S. For those of you completely appalled by the title of this post, I wasn’t trying to poetically and meaningfully quote that dumb song, I just couldn’t think of a title, and that line like APPLIED to me right now, you know?

–EDIT!–
The word “majorly” isn’t a fucking word.  WHAT THE HECK???????????????????????????????? I now have to go like rethink my entire life.  If you review like every entry on this stinking blog, I use that word.  And it doesn’t even exist.  Holy. Shit.

the enemy’s gate is down

HULLO!

I know I know it’s been a little whiiile….I just wanted to give you guys time to digest all that news about the ice.  Truly distressing.

So it’s Easter today…it’s been pretty nice, pretty standard.  We had our traditional BASKET HUNT this morning which was traumatic as always.  This was the first year that I didn’t even find my basket until after church.  That never happens! EVER.  But I wasn’t slacking on my problem-solving skillz, my clues were just like ridiculous I don’t know what to say.  The clues I wrote were obviously top notch.  I made my assigned person (Dominic) cry from frustration, which is always kind of the unspoken goal when we are writing the clues, so.  Mission accomplished.  Other than the hunt, Easter was rather mellow.  There was a remarkably small number of fights, my mom didn’t cry, and Siena managed to not get completely hammered at dinner so!  Yay for the Coppas for keeping it together, though I guess it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, or so they say.

On an entirely different subject, the other day at work I got like, scolded for neglecting my duties because I temporarily joined this BOOK CLUB that meets every weekend at Panera.  I hadn’t intended to join, but I see them come in every week, and they’re all pretty old and hideous and wacky seeming, but I’ve always kind of wondered what books they were discussing.  So last week I was lurking nearby wiping tables and casually listening in, and they were discussing Ender’s Game!  Which I have read so I like couldn’t RESIST and had to jump in to the discussion.  And I didn’t join for very long because my tightass manager like laid an egg.  But first of all I was definitely right about the “wacky” thing…these book-clubbers were NUTS, to make an understatement!  But second of all I was reminded of how much I enjoyed reading that book back in the day!  So anyway last night I had a READ ATTACK and was scrounging around for something good to read, and it struck me to pick it up again.  And I’ve been reading it all day, which I guess is not really an Easter-ish activity, but it’s very enthralling.  And I think since I was being made to read it in 10th grade, and I didn’t really care about it, I didn’t grasp fully how good it was.  So I’m glad I’m reading it again.  Anyway that was a very roundabout and lengthy way of talking about the book I’m reading, but I’m in like the Ender’s Game zone right now, what can I say. 

In OTHER news my BIRTHDAY is in nine days.  I just love my birthday so much, I can’t even tell you.  I mean nothing spectacular ever really happens on it, (example: last year I spent the whole day holed up in the family room working on my visual file) but there’s just something nice about the feeling that it’s my birthday.  And also I enjoy getting older (which I guess won’t last forever) because I always feel like I’m just like DECADES younger than everyone else, I don’t know why.  So even though it’s illogical, every time I have a birthday I feel like I’m maybe finally catching up.    

Oh boy! Ahem-hem-hem, it is now time for a HOUSEKEEPING NOTE:

OK so it’s been brought to my attention by some of my more finnicky readers that I frequently put words in CAPITALS, like that.  For example, instead of saying “oh gosh guys, so today was easter”, I say “oh gosh guys, so today was EASTER.”  So I wanted to briefly address this, because it is apparently bothersome to some people.  The reason I use the caps, is because I am trying to accurately convey the emotion with which I would SPEAK the words I am writing, if I were standing in front of you delivering them verbally.  I realize that I could use italics, but italics have always struck me as sort of wimpy, and I find that I rarely put wimpy emphasis on a word.  I usually put full-fledged BELLOWING emphasis on most words, hence the caps.  So my apologies if it irks some people, but I really have no intention of changing this any time in the near future. 

hohumm well I am in like a weird mood right now, if you can’t tell.  I had a lot of wine at dinner, so that could account for it.  But generally speaking, the wine aside, I have been feeling pretty not-unhappy lately, which is really a profound and exciting development in my life.  Not to say that I am constantly JulianaRAINCLOUD, but like, I rarely feel content.  And recently I have been feeling content.  So that is nice.

Anyway it is now time to go watch Rachel Getting Married with my mom and Maria.  So I’m stopping.  But Happy Easter!  Sorry for the pretty lame post.

:]

if only alice knew it all

AHH so I took a little stroll through some of my previous entries way back in the past during my so-called “writing groove”, and like.  The quality/interestingness of this blog has taken a serious dive.  Which is really too bad, but I’m not sure how to correct it.

I just got back from a BREAD BASH for Panera.  So. much. fun.  Seriously, I LOVE staying at work an hour longer than I need to, listening to people bitch about how many napkins we’re supposed to give people with a to-go meal, or  about how even though no one ever buys the trail mix bagel because it’s fucking nasty, we are still keeping it for a couple more months.  YES.  I did, however, win a $10 Wawa gift card playing “Miche Madness” (Miche is a type of bread we have + NCAA tournament = GET IT?!) so I guess it wasn’t altogether fruitless.

On Friday I went to hear Anthony play in Roxborough with Miriah and Janelle.  It was some wild times.  First of all, I am a skillful and courageous driver, so congratulations to me on that.  Second of all, it’s definitely nice to get out of the Troop once in a while and see some sights and also see some people who are less forgetful than the ones around here.  The music was good and the coffee shop was SWEET, and the afterparty was iiinteresting.  Altogether ’twas an enjoyable and different experience.  Last night I hung out with my mom and watched some movies, which is always nice.  I was a little distressed about, for various reasons, having nothing to do, and then she was like “you can hang out with ME, Jule!” and I was like, wow. Mom…<33333.  Screw those other fuckers.

So, on another note, PROM.  lawlz.  Everyone is going wild about it right now, and it sort of makes me crazy because like.  I think it’s really dumb, I truly do.  But at the same time I feel like I can’t AVOID it and that like, whether I want it to or not, it is this horrible menacing tornado that will suck me up.  So to set my mind at ease, I bought a dress this weekend (to hear my views on dress shopping, refer to…five entries ago.) and I have also thought up the PERFECT safety-valve prom date for when worse comes to worst, and so whatever.  Prom can suck it, I refuse to think about it any further.

OK so my sister like dumped her ENTIRE iTunes library into ours (did I talk about this already? I can’t remember.)  so now we have like 2,000 songs that we didn’t put there or download and that really are not very compatible with my music taste generally.  But anyway, my new hobby is when I’m doing stuff on the computer, putting the library on shuffle and just listening to all the randomness.  I don’t really know how else to approach sorting through it.  If I like a song, I put it in the FAVES playlist, if it’s weird and random but sort of humorous I put it in the WTF? playlist, and if it sucks I put it in the SUCKS playlist.  It’s an ongoing sorting process that will probably take me several years, but it’s sort of interesting.  For example, the song playing right now is called “What Do I Do With a B.A. in English/It Sucks To Be Me”.  Definitely going into the WTF? folder.

OH JEEZE I can’t believe I didn’t bring this up right off the bat!!  But some disturbing news has come to light, and I must share it with you:  

Ahem, so.  I love eating ice.  It’s just the best thing ever, I find it very relaxing to have a huge glass of ice water and just like CHOMP on the ice.  Although if people don’t have ice makers and they use those horrible little ice trays instead, I’ve found that homemade ice like that is pretty sucky because it’s very difficult to like, actually get in your mouth, and once it’s there it’s similar to chewing on a piece of granite or something.  Those cubes tend to be very tough.  The best ice cubes, I have found, are either the half moon kind like I have in my freezer (provided that they sit in some water for a little while), or better STILL are the cute flat square ones like they have at Panera, which require no prior soaking whatsoever and are ready to be chewed at a moments notice.  But anyway, I have been questioning lately whether ice-chewing is the best habit, because as enjoyable and stress-relieving as it is, I think it could possibly be perceived as rude if I’m at dinner with people and I just am loudly hunkering down on my ice cubes.  So I was already considering trying to quit.  But TODAY I was reading “Go Ask Alice”, which isn’t the book about the girl with the drug addiction or whatever, but actually a very helpful health Q&A site put out by Columbia University, and ACCORDING TO ALICE, this ice chewing thing is not as innocent as I thought!!!!!!  It could MEAN something.  Check it out:

“Chewing on ice can cause gum injury, microscopic fractures in enamel (which can become larger fractures), and even broken teeth.  Chewing ice is especially bad for those with sensitive teeth, or the jaw condition known as TMJ.  The desire to chew ice cubes may also be a symptom of iron-deficiency anemia or other physical or emotional conditions, such as nutritional deficiencies, stress, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sexual frustration, or developmental disorders. This is known as pica, which refers to eating or wanting to eat substances that have no nutritional value, including ice, clay, cornstarch, and paper. “ 

WOW, Alice.  Thanks for the fucking heads up.  I have been chewing on ice and (and paper too actually…shit) since day ONE, and now I am apparently sexually frustrated?  Or possibly anemic??  And I also do have TMJ so like, great.  Ice-chewing was pretty much the one and only thing I held dear in life anymore, and don’t you know it.  It’s snatched from under me like everything else.  Thanks, God.

SIGH.

On a less depressing note, I did get in to the Honors College at West Chester, which is exciting.  The dean even CALLED me to let me know before the letters came out, because he said I “made an impression” at my interview.  So, yay.  While everyone else is getting into their prestigious schools, I can hold on to that one small feather I guess.

Wow.  Longest entry of all TIME.  I doubt anyone even made it this far, but if you did I apologize for the excruciating length.  And also congratulations on making it so far, you must have ALMOST the lack of life that I do.  I should really go to bed now, I’m bushed.

“Complaint De La Butte”–Rufus Wainwright.   It’s going in the FAVES list.

P.S.  I feel that there are a lot of expletives in this post.  And like, although they are what naturally flowed out in my thoughts, I feel like perhaps I should cut down on them?  I wouldn’t want this sanctuary of profound thought and wisdom to become too crude.  Discuss whether or not this bothered you.

hey prunella…when did YOU learn to drive?

HI.

I was actually being very productive just now and doing my gov homework.  But I suddenly hit a wall and stopped understanding what I was doing, so I was forced to quit being productive and instead wandered onto here.  So it goes, I guess.

I had a goodish weekend.  I did a lot of things, most but not all of them pretty mundane.  I interviewed for the honors college at West Chester yesterday.  It seems like a pretty sweet set up and I am sort of dying to get in, but they only take 40 kids so like.  Not getting my hopes up.  I also went to Trader Joe’s for the first time, which obviously was momentous and must be noted.

So lately I have been on a READING FRENZY, which is similar to a feeding frenzy except that instead of happening with animals it happens with nerdy people, and instead of food it’s BOOKS.  I just have been dying to read all the time, and I have seriously read like twelve books this week.  Some of them were rereads because I couldn’t get my hands on fresh ones, but on Friday I got a bunch of books from the library, and I’ve been reading them all weekend and they are GOOD.  I’ve been trying to branch out a little bit with my reading, meaning that I’ve been making an effort to steer away from girly, glossy books with titles like “Confessions of a: _____” or “The Summer When…”.  It’s not been easy to wean myself away from those books, because contrary to popular belief they are AWESOME and so fun to read.  But I figure that I’d have to put them behind me at some point anyway, and what better time than now, right?  Right.

I’m listening to some Amy Winehouse right now.  I enjoy her music more than I thought I would.  It’s got a soothing, motown-y kind of feel to it.

Um OKAY, so I just paid my weekly visit to Parent Portal.  And I like…suck.  If my freshman self could have a look at those grades she would undoubtedly cry/commit suicide.  But it’s sad because like, my senior self doesn’t give two shits.

SIGHHHHHHHH.

My hands are so DRY right now, I don’t know what the deal is.  It’s probably from Panera, I was going NUTS tonight with cleaning stuff.  I did such a good job.  I even cleaned out that crusty little microwave we have under the coffee urns.  I also replaced a LIGHTBULB, and while I was perched atop our gigantic ladder working my magic on the lighting fixture,  my retarded work associate like banged into the ladder and I almost fell off and DIED.  But thankfully I was able to regain stability and am still alive. Phew.

AHH so there is an ongoing CRISIS in my life, which is this:  I love shortening words.  For example, saying trub instead of trouble, totes instead of totally, proj instead of project, etc. etc.  HOWEVER, there are certain words that are really giving me ISSUES when I try writing them down.  These are words such as casual, usual, and decision.  I verbally shorten these words all the time, but when I try writing them down I find that it’s pretty much impossible.  How do you capture that soft s-sh-j sound that’s in the middle of those words?????  If I’m shortening the word CASUAL, what do I write down?  Do I say cas? No.  It looks totally wrong.  Cash?  Obviously not.  Caaj? What the fuck. Casjh?  I just can’t work it out.  It’s becoming a major burden in my daily life, and is really cramping my style of speaking when I’m communicating through the written word.  If anyone would like to leave input on the spelling for these shortened words, please do so. 

Oh my god, the lack of progress I have made on all of my homework is staggering.  I really need to get my act together.  Plus I need to locate some hand lotion STAT for my poor dried out hands.  In other words, I really should go, despite the fact that I have said nothing even remotely important or substantial or interesting in this dumb entry.  OH. WELL.

later skaterz.

graduation, FRUSTRATION, and old people.

hey-ooo.

So, it is MARCH right now of senior year.  I don’t know… that just occurred to me, how not very much time is left of this year.  And first of all, I’m a little disappointed because I have been given the impression that senior year is supposed to be like, sweet.  But thus far it has sucked.  And second of all I’m feeling a sort of carpe diem attitude about the remainder of the year.  Because who the fuck cares anymore, right?  Only three months left in this place, may as well actually have fun.

Speaking of NOT having fun, there is this ongoing THING in my life, currently, which has permanently taken up residence in the “WTF?” region of my brain.  I am honestly bewildered by it, and am also pretty sick of it.  But I care about it too kind of so I wish it would work out.  However, at this point it’s looking like I’m the only ONE who cares about it, so I think I may just have to stop caring even though I don’t want to.  You know what I’m talking about?  Of course you do.  So. Frustrating.

In other news, new episodes of Gossip Girl air tomorrow night thank GOD.  I have something to look forward to.

Today is the day three years ago that my grandmom died.  I remember it SO DISTINCTLY, I like can’t even believe it has already been three years.  We had a mass today at my granddad’s house with the whole family there, which was pretty unbearable because like…my whole extended family in one house IS just unbearable, regardless of the solemnity of the occasion.  But it was a nice thing.  It’s pretty impressive to look around at my eighteen aunts and uncles and forty-something cousins, and to think of the matriarch of this gigantic group of people and how like, wherever she is now, she still has so many pieces of her left on earth.  It’s kind of sweet. 

I also visited my other grandmom today, because I sometimes go read to her on Sundays.  And I have decided that aging is a total bitch.  Seriously.  If I could just check out of here at around age 74, I am totally cool with that.  Because completely losing control of your existence seems…not that enjoyable to me.  I mean, Grandmom Ayres is making the best of it obviously, and her condition is still pretty dece for being 95, but like.  Getting old just seems like it sucks, it really does.

AN EXAMPLE of how getting old sucks, is that today I filed my TAXES.  How depressing is that???  But I actually get a sweet refund so it isn’t so bad I suppose.

Alright well this entry was pretty terrible, and full of some extremely random and pointless things.  But whaaat can you do.  It is now time to go to bed because I feel like I’m going to die. 

buenas noches.

PS:  I went to check on the word “aging” to make sure I spelled it right, because it was looking a little funky, and it TURNS OUT that it is correct to spell it either “aging” OR “ageing”.  Weird.  The English Language is a marvelous thing, my friends.

kites, closed, & completely crushed

ALRIGHT so it’s been a whiiile…I just really haven’t felt compelled to write on here lately.  But RELAX, because here I am nerding it out at 11:00pm on a non-school night, coming up with a craft for Head Start/watching She’s the Man/writing on here.

…I know, I KNOW.  You wish you were me.

This craft-coming-up-with endeavor is sort of an uphill climb, though, because like.  Unless there’s some major holiday on the horizon, crafts really don’t just make themselves YOU KNOW? You know.  So right now I’m stuck between making a paper kite, and a pipecleaner leprechaun, which is clearly a tough decision because like….how DO you choose between two equally genius ideas??  I am at a loss.

In other news, the musical is OVER, and has been for like a week or whatever.  And even though it went very well and I enjoyed it, I have just been in such a better MOOD since it’s ended.  Seriously all this past week I just felt relieved and chill and at ease, so the play was clearly stressing me out more than I realized.

OH MY GOD ok, buckle up because I have the SADDEST STORY OF ALL TIME to share with you.  Hopefully I can finish writing it before I just like, lose complete control and shlump on my keyboard and bawl, because it’s just that bad.

Ahem, so.  My family is not really like, a technologically advanced group, and we don’t have cable.  (I know…I could just stop here, and it would be a sad story).  Well we also don’t have Netflix, but we DO have Blockbuster Online, but like who cares, the POINT IS that I make frequent trips to the good old Blockbuster up the street on Ridge Pk.  Like, EXTREMELY frequent trips.  And I have sort of come to think of that place as a home away from home, and I have bonded with all the employees there and they adore me.  Particularly this one employee who is completely bald, but not like old man bald, just bald, and he is MY FAVORITE BLOCKBUSTER GUY OF ALL TIME.  And we have a deep and indestructible connection based upon our totally compatible movie tastes, and all of our random, priceless conversations.  And he is just the best.  And when I was DYING to rent Charlie Bartlett, but they didn’t have it, he helped me find another movie, and then he HELD Charlie Bartlett for me as soon as it came in even though I didn’t ask him to.  And when the battery died in my dad’s car because I spent so long looking for a movie, and I had a nervous breakdown because I was pretty certain that my dad would destroy me for killing his car’s battery, Baldie came outside—-completely neglecting his behind the counter duties!!—-and helped me locate the jumper cables in the trunk and jump start the car!  And every time I forget my Blockbuster card and/or photo ID, he always lets me slide.  And he is just the MAN, and he has this lovable round face, and I feel like we’re married, practically. 

So TONIGHT, since it isn’t a school night, I headed up to Blockbuster OBVIOUSLY to rent a movie.  But when I got there, the door was locked, and I realized that on Mondays they close at 10 so I was fifteen minutes late or whatever.  So I had a good cry, and then started to head back to the car, but of COURSE Baldie (I don’t know why I don’t know his name…it’s fucking disgraceful) popped his head out of the door at the last minute and said hello to me, because no locked door is going to get in the way of a friendship like ours.  So I chatted with him, and expressed my distress at the fact that they were closed, and complained about how I was going to have to chill around and watch She’s the Man instead.  (Which is really nothing to complain about, because I love this movie so much)  Well, when I said that, Baldie replied, “hmmm, you’re going to have to get used to this feeling, because we filed for bankruptcy and are closing before too long.  Netflix and shit really did us in.” 

Well, my friends.  I basically felt like someone had STABBED ME IN THE HEART MULTIPLE TIMES WITH A RAZOR SHARP BLADE.  Oh my GOD!  What the fuck am I supposed to DO???  My life and entertainment depend like 90% on the existence of that Blockbuster store, and plus how the HELL am I supposed to figure out Baldie’s actual name, let alone marry him so that he can take care of me for all of my days, if they just shut down and I never see him again?!?!?! 

:SOB:

worst. news. ever.

Anyway I should probably go, even though I feel like I had some actual legit news to share with you, especially since it’s been so long.  But I just got so caught up in that story!!  And now I am a total emotional basketcase from telling it, because I’ve realized what an empty black hole my life is going to become thanks to Netflix.  And also I need to devote my full attention to She’s the Man right now, because Duke just like came out of the bushes in his tux and I love this part. Siiiiggghh.  But I’ll try to write again before like, October or whatever, so don’t fret about that.

P.S.  If you are some kind of stalker fact-checker, and you happen to go to the Blockbuster on Ridge, there are two bald guys, and mine is the one who is not the skinny one with glasses.
P.P.S.  I am considering chaining myself to the store?  Leave your contact info if you’re in.

until the daymoon rise

HEY. It’s been forevz.  I’m sorry for any withdrawal/depressive pining I have caused. 

Life has been CONSUMED by the play, which for better or worse is now 11 days away.  I’m sort of excited, but mostly terrified.  CATH is coming for the weekend of Sween which is exciting.  She’ll be here next Friday and I think I’m bringing her to SCHOOL!  Is this a good idea?  Discuss.  Originally I thought it might be seen as a little strange if I just bring some random girl to tag along with me at school, but then I thought about it and decided that (a) Cathe is the shit and isn’t that random, (b) I’m a senior and I don’t care how things seem anymore, (c) who would care anyway? (d) I can’t leave my bffaeae to chill with the homeschoolers while I’m at school all day.  So I think I’ll bring her.  But what is the protocol with bringing someone to school?  Do I have to make up some kind of story about her potentially transferring and wanting to shadow me, or her being some kind of school researcher or something, or can she just come?  I should investigate I guess.

Senior Banq was on Thursday.  On a scale from 1 to fun, it was above a one.

In other news, I had the ACHIEVMENT OF MY LIFE LAST NIGHT:

I got 100% playing Bang Camaro’s Pleasure(Pleasure) on the guitar on Medium on Rock Band!!!!!!!!!!! (yeah…Valentine’s day was clearly a romantic milestone for me)  But like, 100%?!?!?!?! A 503 note streak?!?!?!?! Am I awesome or am I AWESOME?!  But where to go from here??  Because I have TRIED upgrading to Hard, and it’s fucking impossible.  That orange button is just out of the question for me unless I grow some kind of a sixth finger.  So I’m not really sure how my Rock Band career is going to proceed from this point, but I’ll keep you posted.

Other than rocking my own world, V-Day was pretty grueling with a 9-5 play practice, and then babysitting for the Irish nabes.  Normally I love babysitting for the Irish neighbors because they pay me more than Panera does all month in like one night, and the kids are generally fun to look after, and occasionally Uncle Martin is hanging around.  But the mom just had another baby, who is like two weeks old and who I figured she would BRING with her to dinner while I babysat, but instead she left the NEWBORN INFANT BREAKABLE TINY CHILD with me.  So I was on intense BabyWatch all night and didn’t really have any fun, although the monetary compensation was obviously worth it.  It was so sweet though, to take care of that tiny little child.  I got to hold her and feed her her bottle and stuff it was adooooorable. :]

Tomorrow is some kind of accepted students open house at West Chester.  I’m like concerned, sort of, that I’ll go and realize that I don’t actually want to go there.  But it could be cool I guess.

Anyway, I know that after a dry spell like that I should probably have some knock-you-unconsciously fascinating post full of exciting news, but I really don’t have anything else to sayyy so I’m going to wrap this up.  I will close with a SUPER old poem of mine that I found while cleaning my room today.  It’s pretty terrible but I thought it was humorous.

Scones Alone
by j. coppa

I’d think it awfully lovely
If you could come by for tea,
It’d be nothing but my sun-draped lawn
The Earl Grey, you, and me.

We’d forget about the dismal grind
Of school and class and halls
It would all dissolve away
The moment you came to call.

We’d discuss our favorite books
And philosophize on life
I’d pass to you the cherry scones
And dainty butter knife

If I was feeling bold
Perhaps I’d signal with my fan
That your company was lovely
And I’d like to hold your hand.

We’d sit there side by side
On my porch swing in the shade
The sun would sink to rosy dusk
But you’d be glad you stayed….

But you will never come for tea
Your coach would not be pleased
And I will never speak to you
With eloquence and ease

We’ll never sit together
On my porch swing in the shade
And if I asked, you’d probably say
You’ve never played croquet.

So here I am, my sun-draped lawn
–a lovely place to be,
But it’s looking like the guest list is
The Early Grey and, well….me.